brandon: the blog

about me.

my name is and always has been brandon bailey schaaf. there once was a boy who didnt have a life. I mean he had a lot of friends and stuff and he liked girls and everything but he didnt really have a life. I mean he could string cuss words together with ease, I mean so smooth. and he didnt need a job- I mean he didnt even need money to pay for things, shoplifting was so much easier. It was like, bam- I own it. you know? but he didn’t have a life, it was pretty pathetic, you know? but yeah- so he didn’t have a life. lots of friends, Hot Topic gear but no life. his parents were pretty mean sometimes. His mom hit him a few times and kicked him out of the house maybe a hundred times. not really, maybe just six times. His parents divorced after a while and his dad was all like, son! and he’d get SO mad when he did things like drop bb’s out of the window or break something or something like that. but anyways, he didnt have a life, pretty pathetic. but then he went to this church- ah even more pathetic, like thats what he needed. rofl, you know? but anyways, his mom was all like- GET UP and COME WITH ME, didn’t have a choice, you know? he was like SHUT UP, MOM. stop making me go to this dumb place where nobody likes you and where everyone feels like they’re better than you, why would I want to go there? but she made him for like months. and then he was like- this isn’t so bad, but hated himself for falling into the trap. He got older, met new people, the new people talked to him a lot and the new people became friends that he kind of cared about sometimes so he listened to them, you know? and he kind of lost that perspective that it was a trap and it wasn’t a cloaking device for the trap, I mean he completely understood it wasn’t a trap or a lie or a place where everyone thought they were better than you. He learned about jesus and god and whatever. but he still let it pass through his ears. His parents kept being kind of mean and the new friends were the only refuge he had so he stuck with them and told them how much he hated his parents sometimes. skipping a lot of important parts, he ended up LOVING jesus and wanting to know more about him because he started to realize it wasn’t about the church, it wasn’t about the people, it wasn’t about his parents or himself, and it definitley wasn’t about the shoplifting or the drugs he never ended up trying. It was all about the guy who saved his life and made him and ended up loving him beyond what he could understand. It was so strange, it was like he lived his whole life with his hand on his eyes. he was like DANG this sucks living in the dark like this, cant see anything, keep running into stuff, you know? just pathetic living. He needed help all the time and he just couldn’t depend on himself, it was stupid. and someone kept pulling on his hand and saying, dude, you have to move your hand- listen- just move your hand. but he was still like STOP IT, thats not the problem, listen to ME, I know what I’m talking about. then one day he ran into a huge wall and fell right on his back. blood everywhere, you know? I mean he was running fast and hit the wall. bam. bloody head and knuckles and stuff. so he was laying on his back and he picked himself up and realized he lost grip of his face, he looked at his bloody knuckles and looked up at the wall- woah- a wall. he turned around and it was the guy trying to help him the whole time. and thats about when I dropped to my knees and realized how badly I needed him and how wonderful and forgiving and just perfect he was. I devoted my life to him and handed him my heart but he insisted I keep it and he live in me. so here he is, in my heart. its seriously the best thing I’ve ever experienced. and its not like a roller coaster or skydiving, its a lifetime long. I mean I still bring my hand up slowly and try to cover my eyes up, Its easier sometimes to do that but he lives in my heart so I can’t ever do it too long, now that I know what Im missing. and now I can’t help but jump up and down in my room pumping my fist in the air and closing my eyes and singing like crazy, like praising like non-stop! and thats about me.

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